Man, is it just me or did Christmas sneak up FAST this year? Is that just a function of getting older? Remember the anticipation as a kid, the countdown that began right after Halloween?
Alas, so it goes. Either way, another Christmas is once again upon us. We are grateful to have you all along for the ride. And no matter what’s going on in your life, we hope you enjoy a day of rest and rejuvenation, far away from the demands of the other 364 days of the year.
So let’s celebrate with some choice dinner menus from Navy ships during yules past. We’ve even got a longtime TWZ reader chipping in with a menu (thanks, Sean!)
Thanks as well to the U.S. Naval Historical and Heritage Command (NHHC) for assembling these culinary time capsules.
Merry Christmas and happy holidays. Please stay fed.
USS Oregon (BB-3) 1917
The ship: The Indiana class battleship was commissioned in 1898 and found adventure on the high seas before being decommissioned in 1920.
“Oregon made a dramatic voyage during the Spanish-American war, weathering storms, while encountering harsh gales while passing through the Straits of Magellan, arriving 66 days after she departed,” NHHC recounts. “This journey gave evidence for building the Panama Canal as it would be prudent for the United States not to wait again for this transit if emergencies arose.”
The good: Potato croquettes are a criminally underrated Potato Delivery Vehicle (PDV), and lemon meringue pie really deserves more of the pie spotlight.
The not so good: “Cluster raisins” sounds like when you open a box of raisins and they’re all stuck together.
USS Monterey (BM-6) 1918
The ship: The only ship of its class, Monterey was commissioned in 1893 and soon took on missions that were bigger than what the monitor platform (it literally looks like a platform too!) was envisioned for.
“Though not designed for extended ocean cruising, the big monitor departed San Diego 11 June in company with collier Brutus for Manila,” NHHC states. “Sailing via Honolulu and Apra, Guam, the two ships made the 8,000‑mile voyage without mishap, arriving 13 August, and Monterey remained in the Philippines supporting the occupation of Luzon into 1899.”
The good: Buttered asparagus tips and grape juice punch. I wonder what grape juice punch tasted like in the days before artificial flavoring.
The not so good: Seaman Timmy appears to have typo’d up this menu. If not, the mess should have gone to mast for serving roast turkey with tartar sauce and baked red snapper with giblet gravy.
USS Colorado (BB-45) 1926
The ship: A grand old dame of the fleet by the time World War II broke out, NHHC nonetheless notes how Colorado did her part:
“In November 1943, Colorado took part in the Tarawa invasion. She supported the landings at Kwajalein and Eniwetok in January and February 1944 and the Marianas operation in June and July. On 24 July 1944, while bombarding Tinian, she was hit by enemy shore batteries, suffering serious casualties among exposed personnel topside.”
“Colorado’s next combat duty was off Leyte in November 1944, where she was hit by two ‘Kamikaze’ suicide planes late in the month. Remaining in the combat zone, she supported the Mindoro invasion in December and the Lingayen Gulf landings in January. During March, April and May 1945, Colorado’s sixteen-inch guns bombarded Okinawa in support of U.S. troops ashore. In August and September 1945, she covered the occupation of Japan, then departed for the United States.”
The good: Pickled eggs are lowkey the best bar/drinking food out there, and cold pork or ham is pure Christmas.
The not so good: The menu cover is kind of terrifying, and those two tykes do not look excited to see Ol’ Saint Nick.
USS Bridge (AF-1) 1936
The ship: A humble provisions stores ship that helped keep troops supplied during the invasion of Okinawa in 1945.
The good: Cauliflower a la parmesan seems ahead of its time, despite the fact that cauliflower is timelessly adaptable and delicious. Also the most aesthetically pleasing menu cover in our collection.
The not so good: We discussed this before, but saltines have no right to be a featured player on any holiday menu.
USS Lawrence C. Taylor (DE-415) 1945
The ship (and the contributor): You already know that TWZ has the best readers out there, and that our comments section is without peer. So we’re pleased to share this next entry, submitted by longtime reader Sean, whose uncle served on this John C. Butler class destroyer escort during World War II. It has been passed down by his family through the decades and we are proud to now render it online immortality.
“Menu came from my family member Howard Eiss, who was the sailor on the ship,” Sean told TWZ. “To the best of my knowledge, this was passed down in the family and I came about it only a few years ago.”
The good: Sean keeping this priceless piece of family history for years to come; old-fashioned fruit cake.
The not so good: Celery en Branch sounds like the mess got a tad lazy. Still, the ship and its crew had fought hard throughout the Pacific during the war, and had earned this feast by Xmas ‘45.
Merry Christmas, everyone!
Contact the author: geoff@twz.com